Saturday, September 9, 2017

Phi Gamma Delta ~ Kappa Deuteron Chapter at the University of Georgia

Athens GA

Those who think only of the movie Animal House when they hear the word "fraternity" do not know Phi Gamma Delta. In particular they do not know the Kappa Deuteron chapter of Phi Gamma Delta at the University of Georgia.

On March 24, 2018 Kappa Deuteron will host its 50th annual graduate Pig Dinner to commemorate the anniversary of their 1968 founding on the Athens campus. They just learned there will be far more to celebrate than the remarkable last half century.

Technically, “founding” is not the proper word. “Recolonization” is correct. Phi Gam, also known as FIJI, existed at UGA from 1870 to 1890, whereupon the university expelled them for violating curfew to attend the circus. The infamy! No brothers from the era could be reached for comment, so that particular chapter in chapter history figuratively & literally ends here.

Early recolonized brethren learned much from poor judgment of those 1800s Phi Gam rascals. To avoid alternative recreation expulsion from campus again they left the country. In this case a hasty Thanksgiving 2,167 mile road trip to Juarez Mexico. No "going to the circus" misbehavior or mischief for these exemplary young men.

Rumor has it Golden Owl original chapter members may plan a 50th Anniversary 2018 wee hour road trip to this revered establishment for touch up of wrinkled & faded ankle artwork.

Kappa Deuteron will indeed have much to celebrate in 2018. On September 7 they were awarded their 14th Cheney Cup for "greatest all-around efficiency in scholarship, fraternity relationships & general collegiate activities." In other words, the Best 2017 Phi Gamma Delta Chapter in ... the World.

UGA FIJIs won recognition for a record number of 2017 national awards. They include the Baker Cup for religious, ethical, and social service activities & the Brightman Trophy for relations between the chapter & graduate brothers. They earned 2nd place for the Coon Plaque - best chapter publication & the Jordan Bowl -  highest comparative scholarship among the undergraduate chapters.

Famous Phi Gams include Calvin Coolidge, Johnny Carson, Phil Knight, Mike Pence, Seth Meyers, John Ritter, Roone Arledge, Admiral William Crowe, Jack Kerouac, Tom Peters, EB White, Norman Vincent Peale, Donald Trump Jr, Sal Bando, John Cappaletti, Skip Caray, Hale Irwin, Jack Nicklaus, Christy Mathewson, Bob Mathias, Roger Penske, Bobby Rahal, Dean Smith, Payne Stewart, Jerry Pate, Byron White, Tom Brookshier & Matt Suhey.

Kappa Deuterons have long been known for apprecation of individual style & character. Unless the evening theme for some sorority social is "Hey there beautiful lady. I'm Bob from Irwinton."

Kappa Deuterons take pride in some impressive alums of their own, including a major university president, chairman of a national bank, high ranking military officers & innumerable CEOs, judges, physicians, attorneys, ministers & entrepreneurs. They even boast a major Atlanta network chief meteorologist & the UGA Bulldogs Sanford Stadium football announcer. This chapter clearly enjoys a legacy of high achievers.

Kappa Deuteron has also enjoyed their share of colorful personalities. Those include consecutive year student body presidential candidates Chicken Little, Munchin Mark & Ima Duo. The last and only to actually be elected & serve in office was The Unknown Candidate,
who ran his campaign in disguise with a grocery bag over his head.

A brother once known as Keggel is now a senior bank executive. Moonpie is a PhD & dean of a state college business school. Poonhead is a corporate CFO, as is BoBo. Wormy is VP at a stock brokerage. Ajax is broker at a storied real estate agency. So is Chomper. Nick the Stud owned several award winning preschools. Weasel is VP at a major plastics business. Stalker became a journalistic honcho & claims he kept a straight face in the 1978 photo above while interviewing Brothers with whom he pretended to have no affiliation. Early media bias & corruption at its finest. As it should be.

Sparky is a racketeering orthodontist. DA is President of an insurance company with a confusing name. Goose is CEO of a medical services something. Beast is a physician no one wants to visit. BD is a dentist who got rich performing unneeded root canals. Murph wasted a Wilkinson Award & Harvard Law School degree by opening a craft beer brewery which in truth adds far more value to mankind than being some ambulance chasing lawyer.

Scoop is a prominent attorney. Idi Amin is a successful CPA. Papa is a judge & law school professor. Vito is such a big shot at a multinational technology conglomerate one must pay to get his contact info. The Unknown Candidate became a major network director. Bambi became an insurance kingpin by answering the wrong side of a help wanted ad.

Grandfather gives one speech a year in broken German, can still fall asleep standing up & otherwise lurks beneath the radar. Brigadier is a tycoon of some sort & legend in his own mind.

Watty is as unhinged as ever & will never amount to much. The Commodore peddled Florida swampland before becoming a tabloid journalist hack writer. Every dynasty has a black sheep or two. Some less than stellar individuals secure bids only by virtue of a superior older sibling.

The very least worthy individuals require more than one superior elder relative to secure a bid.

Watching over this brood & keeping them on the straight & narrow for 50 years is a wise & prudent Mother Hen, Director of UGA Student Affairs Office of Judicial Programs. No one ever worked up enough courage to call him Mother Hen lest they face consequences from the UGA Student Affairs Office of Judicial Programs.

Because of or in spite of the above, Kappa Deuteron got off to a fast start in terms of national awards. They sustained that momentum for decades. They won their first Cheney Cup in 1972, only 4 years after their return to the UGA campus. They were awarded the Cup again in 1973, twice more in the late '70s and twice again in the '80s & '90s. During an embarrassing run from 2001 to 2004 they won the Cup for 4 consecutive years. Once more in 2011.

Now another Cheney Cup in 2017, with collection of other high honors to accompany that. One would think such recognition might induce complacency. But Kappa Deuteron has never been a group of young men to rest on their laurels.

Keggel, Poonhead, Bobo, Moonpie, Wormy, Ajax, Chomper, Nick the Stud, Weasel, Stalker, Sparky, DA, Goose, Beast, BD, Murph, Scoop, Idi Amin, Papa, Vito, The Unknown Candidate, Bambi,  Grandfather & Brigadier will be among high achievers in attendance at the 2018 50th Anniversary Pig Dinner. Watty & the Commodore, meh. But hundreds of others will reunite on March 24 to celebrate a pretty good first half century.

All Kappa Deuteron Brothers are hereby dutifully, officially & threateningly encouraged to register for Pig Dinner 50 & Lodging today. As in right now. Like post haste. Without further ado. We really don't want to make Ira the Enforcer have to come and find you. Capiche?

Phi Gamma Delta brother Tom Peters of Cornell authored In Search of Excellence. One can find 50 years of excellence at the Kappa Deuteron Chapter at the University of Georgia.

Kappa Deuteron Chapter
Phi Gamma Delta
3 Cloverhurst Court
Athens GA 30606