Thursday, January 4, 2018

2018 Rose Bowl Broadcast We’d All Like to Hear ~ As Called by the Late Great Larry Munson from On High

Get the picture!


I’m no longer living in Athens Georgia or on Planet Earth, but folks are asking to hear me call the 2018 Rose Bowl.

First off I’m told that if I was around today I couldn’t do my movie group with young ladies. Something about they might come back years later and claim I put something in their popcorn or made them watch an inappropriate work of cinema. My God, what is your world coming to down there?!



Now I understand Georgia is facing Oklahoma in the Rose Bowl, the Dawgs first visit to Pasadena since 1943. That was my first Bulldogs radio broadcast. I am no longer a mortal soul so no one can challenge me on anything. I can say whatever I want from up here. 


Ask Grizzard if you don't believe me. Wait, never mind. That Lewis kid is still a liar.


I gotta tell ya I don’t like the looks of this Sooners outfit. I didn’t like the look of those Samford Bulldogs from Alabama either, but we managed to somehow pull out a win.

But this Oklahoma team. Look at the size of them! I don’t know if they feed ‘em grass fed beef or corn fed beef in that state but whatever they feed ‘em makes ‘em big I tell ya. 


And they got this Mayfield kid who can sling the ball 600 yards a game and run it for another 400. They say the Big 12 doesn’t play defense but they might be wrong today. This team has me worried.

I don’t know much about these 2018 Bulldogs because I’ve taken the last few years off and just got the phone call to show up today. I’m told they have a running back, Sony Michel, maybe named after the TV my wife got us after the Magnavox finally blew a tube. And the kid has a French last name. Loran, what d'ya got?


So his parents moved from Haiti and the kid was born in Florida? His first name has nothing to do with that Japanese electronics company? That’s more than I really need to know. Loran, I love ya but that’s why you’re on the sideline and I’m up here.


Nick Chubb. Now that sounds like a football player. And the kid's family has a town named after them. The kid looks like a small town from what I see. I’m told he’s thunder and Michel is lightning. Sounds a little hokey but I wasn’t around to cast a vote.


So we’re starting a freshman quarterback, a kid named Jake Fromm. My God, a freshman! This worries me. I don’t care how good you say this kid is.


It’s good to hear Kirby Smart is in charge. Him I remember from the 1990s, when we thought there’d be so many national championships to follow the one in 1980. Smart was a great safety or cornerback or whatever, and he had the heart of a champion.


And I understand Smart is pretty good at recruiting. He’s got our offensive line in good shape with guys who are big, strong, fast and smart. And the line is young, which has me worried, but they’re deep with talent.


Same goes for defense. Young, big, strong, fast, smart and deep. But I don’t know. They say we haven’t faced a powerhouse like this Oklahoma. This has me worried.

Oklahoma won the toss and defer. Dawgs get the ball and go 3 and out. You can’t win 2,200 miles from home this way!

And look at this. The Sooners just marched right down the field 80 yards and scored in an instant. In an instant! This has me worried I tell ya.


Dawgs get the ball back. Look, they take it right back down the field. That Chubb kid and the Michel kid who I’m told is not French each tear off a few great runs. And that freshman Fromm – is that French? – looks like maybe he can throw the ball. We’re tied but I don’t know if we can win a shootout with these kids from Oklahoma.


Oklahoma marches right down again and scores. We miss a field goal. What kind of a name is Blankenship? And those glasses. Sounds and looks more like a kid from the chess club, but I’m told he can kick the ball 5 miles. Well, he kicked that one wide left.

They tell me the Mayfield kid just did some kinda throat slash in the direction of the Dawgs and said “It’s over.” Well he might be right.



Oklahoma marches right down and scores again. They are walking on our backs. Why did you people invite me here?

Dawgs get the ball. The transistor radio kid takes off, he’s gone. 75 yards on a single play. They may be right about the lightning thing. But we’re not supposed to score this fast. Our defense needs to catch their breath. This has me worried I tell ya.


Okay, it at least looks like their guy can kick a field goal.

Punt. Punt. Punt. But you know that.

My God, the Sooners just ripped off a 90 yard TD drive. I could still be up there enjoying nectar and ambrosia. But no, I had to answer the phone to come see this?


They try a little squib kick. Not sure what that’s about. But it’s too late. Okay, Fromm completes a pass but we’ve got only a second left. We’re way out of the chess player’s range. Might as well give it a try. Snap is good, kick is up. By God he put it thru!


Loran is that some kind of a record? Both a Blankenship and Rose Bowl record? Not bad. But this may be too little too late. After all, we gotta kick them the ball in the second half and we just can not stop them.

Sooners 3 and out. I didn’t know that was possible.

Take a look, the Chubb kid took it 50 yards for a TD. 11 seconds! We gotta score slower I tell ya.


I don’t know what Oklahoma did for a lotta minutes but they didn’t score. We may have life.

It’s that Michel kid again. He just took it 38 yards! Okay that’s six plays. A little more like it. But we’re tied. This can’t last long. I love her but I don’t want to kiss my sister.


The bulletproof Mayfield kid just threw it straight to our man Dominick Sanders. He lofted it because we’ve been getting after him and were after him then. Sanders takes it 39 yards down to our 4. Dawgs are threatening to take a lead. A lead!


Fromm threw it to that tall rangy Javon Wims kid. We scored! But we scored too fast. Can you believe it? We actually wrestled away a lead! This has me worried I tell ya.


They punt then we punt. We can’t keep doing this.

Look, they march it 88 yards right down the field and tie us again. This is not a momentum swing we need.


Oh God, I finally got it straight that the Sony Michel kid is not named after my TV and is not French, and he goes and fumbles. Oklahoma scoops it up and waltzes 46 yards for a touchdown. Did I tell ya momentum was not going our way?


We punt then they punt. We can’t keep doing this.

3:22 left in the game. But do we have anything left in the tank? Do we have one more drive in us? Can this Fromm kid who I understand is not French hold it together?


No need to rush things. But maybe we better rush things. We can’t give it back to that Mayfield kid with any time or he’ll just march them right back down. But we gotta score. We just gotta score slow.

Fromm throws to Godwin. Then to Michel. We quickly march it 32 yards. But was it too quick? Or not quick enough? Fromm runs it for no gain, then an incomplete pass. Now it’s 3rd down, but you know we’ll take two. What choice do we have?


Fromm puts a clutch pass right on the money to that Godwin kid again for 16 yards! We’re knocking on the door for a shot at destiny.

We throw an incomplete pass to that Wims kid but their guy was all over him. Sometimes you need Lady Luck on your side.


It’s Chubb in what they’re telling me is the Wild Dawg formation. He takes the snap, runs right, and he’s straight through untouched. We’re tied yet again. But did we do it too fast? This has me worried I tell ya.


My God, even that kid Kirk Herbstreit agrees with me!


Hunker Down Dawgs! Okay, you did, and they punted.

We’re going to overtime for the first time ever in the Rose Bowl. There’s apparently no chance I’ll have to kiss my sister. But is Lady Luck now with them or us?


They won the toss. We gotta take it first.

We get a field goal, then they get a field goal. But you know that. Going to double overtime. Now they get the ball first. We can’t keep this up.

They line it up for a field goal. Their kicker kid is automatic. The snap is good, hold is down – and we block it!


That Lorenzo Carter kid jumped 8 miles in the air and got a hand on it. A hand the size of Asia. No, bigger than that. A hand the size of Jupiter!

Any score wins it for the Dawgs. Is there a way with all these new rules to just add a point and go home?

It’s the transistor radio Haiti kid in that Wild Dawg again. Why don’t we just kick the field goal and go home?


He takes the snap, running left. The Fromm kid is out there throwing a block on the end. Michel turns the corner. There’s no one there. Run Lindsay run! I mean Sony! I don’t know what I mean!


We just stepped on their face with a hobnail boot and broke their nose! We just crushed their face!


And because we haven't mentioned that Roquan Smith kid yet we'll do it here. Too many heroes to mention!



Do you know what is gonna happen here tonight? Up in Altadena and down in Alhambra and other foreign sounding towns? All those left coast places where all those Dawg people have got those condominiums for four days? Man, is there gonna be some property destroyed tonight! 54 to 48. Dawgs on top! We were gone. I gave up, you did too. We were out of it and gone. Miracle!


I broke my chair. I came right through a chair. A metal steel chair with about a 5-inch cushion. I broke it. The booth came apart. The stadium, well, the stadium fell down. Now they do have to renovate this thing. They'll have to rebuild it now.

It looks like the Mayfield kid could be vomiting


Or crying.


Look at the Mercedes-Benzes falling out of the sky! And that can be more dangerous than sugar.


I’m getting too old for this. I’m going back upstairs.



Monday, December 25, 2017

The Georgia Aqualand Marina Lake Lanier Metro Gainesville Greater Hall County Annual Times Picayune Gazette

Extra Special 2017 Stoddard.Media Holiday Edition From Port Royale Marina tho our HQ is Temporarily at Aqualand Marina

2017 Kicks Off With Powerful Message

Since our 2014 divorce we had aspired to one thing. We shared this one thing with no one. In January we were astonished to view this, which clearly articulated that one thing. If not inclined to view entire video begin at 2 minute mark. If not inclined to do even that, the simple message is this: 

What do we really want? The respect of our adult children.

Stoddard Media Headquarters Sinks


Not exactly to the lake floor, but close enough. A faulty water heater valve discovered weeks later was the culprit. Due to timely help of many Dawg. House. Boat. a/k/a Lake Lanier Edmund Andrea Fitzgerald Doria resurfaced 48 hours later & thus made salvageable. Restoration begins January 1.

Real Estate Career 2 Is Born

At the encouragement of many we renewed our Florida Broker license & secured our Georgia Broker license. We joined the Keller Williams Sandy Springs office, by far the leading brokerage in Georgia for many years running. For 10 weeks we had a blast contacting 1,500+ friends from grade school to high school to UGA & beyond, only to find that the only 7 people we reached who were selling or buying when we called had just signed with their 2nd cousin’s nitwit sister in law. We spent a lot of money and earned zero.


We aspired to spend time with people more successful than us, which was, well, just about everybody. A coffee meeting with a waste removal kingpin led to a writing assignment. This led to other writing assignments. In week 2 a caller asked our company name. Thinking fast, we blurted out “Stoddard Media”. In week 3 a caller advised our website, www.stoddardmedia.com, had malware. Tho this was not our website we suddenly had a website problem. We hastily solved this problem with the launch of stoddard.media, thrown together on a frantic Sunday.

Upstart Stoddard Media Cranks Out Work With Reckless Abandon

This led to much more work about high tech waste removal at hurricane sites & concert events. This client had a busy 2017.

Waste Removal Led to Real Estate

For fraternity brother & nutbag “Ajax”, who was once Mark Richt’s Sunday school teacher. Lucky to have friends like this.


Real Estate Led to AT&T

For a client whose autobiography should be a NYT best seller. Still working on it. Fortunate to have friends like this.


AT&T Led to Wits’ End

A friend who happened to be celebrating a major anniversary.


Wits’ End Led to Grapes

Surprising that someone paid for this, but they did.

Work Halted with Sinkage of Stoddard Media HQ

It wasn’t our permanent bricks & mortar HQ, but it is where we did a lot of work, as it was more pleasurable to work there. Which led to this, for the company that will salvage our “HQ”.


Finally, a Client Explained What We Do

Another piece someone surprisingly requested. A major PR firm who advised, “You do ‘content marketing’. Everyone needs content marketing.” We say. “Amen to that.”

As Stoddard Media evolves we find that we do press releases both global & local, articles, blogs, social media & even personal or corporate holiday newsletters. Please reach out to us via email, phone or inquiry thru our website portal to see how we can help you tell your great stories to the world. Candidly, we need work.

Stoddard Media Scions Thrive

Kevin remains an outstanding thespian, vocalist, math, science and language arts student. He traveled with his chorus group in November to Scotland & Ireland and performed at ancient cathedrals. Alas & alack, Dad did not chaperone as he did to NYC in 2016.


Ben remains an award winning tuba player, pitcher and rising star in math & various academic pursuits, despite what this photo may suggest.


Lest the sensitive lad get a complex out of pure good sportsmanship we add this.


Warm Yuletide Greetings Extended

Kevin, Ben & 2017 Signing Day Stoddard Media commitment Vince Dooley wish you a blessed Holiday, New Year & Mighty Fine Boxing Day.


Peter, Kevin & Ben Stoddard & BFF Vince
1400 Market Place Blvd #189
Cumming GA 30041
678-725-5889
Email: stoddardmedia@gmail.com

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Freedom Boat Club Chattanooga / Guild TN River Cruises

A great joy in life is to explore new bodies of water. The joy is enhanced exponentially when such exploration can be done by boat. That is precisely what we did this recent Thanksgiving week.

The Freedom Boat Club makes such ventures affordable, convenient and hassle free. Through our membership at the Lake Lanier Club we simply reserve at any of 145+ North American destinations, show up and enjoy. No trailering, no white knuckle driving, no prolonged travel.



This trip we cruised the Tennessee River out of Freedom's Chattanooga / Guild Club at the Hales Bar Marina & Resort. We spent 2015 Thanksgiving week in Chattanooga and were charmed by the place. Our only trek on the river that trip was via the Tennessee Aquarium River Gorge Explorer Riverboat, which will unfortunately cease operation in January 2018. 


We aspired to take in the magnificent waterway piloting by ourselves this time, and the experience was outstanding. These were our first Freedom river cruises. Our vessel for three days was a 21 foot 2015 Starcraft 2000 Deckboat powered by a peppy yet efficient 115 HP Yamaha four stroke outboard.



It's not always possible to secure a boat for 3 days during peak season weeks via Freedom, but when boats are available the Club makes every effort to accommodate member requests.


On day 1 we took a 70 mile round trip cruise - in red - from Hales Bar to Chattanooga. We were the only recreational boat on the water, passing barges and other work vessels along the way. With temps peaking at 49 degrees it was a brisk and "invigorating" day indeed.


Day 2 - in blue - was a more relaxed and warmer jaunt to and from Nickajack Dam. The Day 3 voyage was a hybrid of the first two and the warmest day of the week.

Vistas along the way included fall colors, sheer bluffs and the historic and supposedly haunted Hales Bar Dam.


Video footage of these thrilling treks here, here and here do not do justice to the real life experience. But hey, at least we tried.

The market value of this Starcraft is approximately $25,000. All we paid each day was the cost of fuel consumed plus a gratuity for the dock hand to gas up and clean up for the next reservation.


In a week we take to the waters of the Tchefuncte River out of Freedom's New Orleans / Madisonville Louisiana Club. Our goal in coming years is to complete some fantasy Freedom Boat Club vacation tour across North America. Whether or not we succeed it promises to be a most adventuresome experiment.

For more information about Freedom Boat Club membership contact John Roberge at 404-901-4907. Please tell him Peter Stoddard referred you.