Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Occupy Seaside!!!



Occupy Seaside!!!

The Time is Now!!!

The Place is Here!!!


At noon tomorrow we rally at the Amphitheater and chant from the roofs of our golf carts at the top of our lungs in unison to an assemblage of zombie masses:



- We demand free cocktails at Bud & Alley's 
even if we have no clue what time the sun sets!


- We demand that Sundog give full cash refunds for used books purchased elsewhere and read on the throne!


- We demand that Frost Bites sell shaved ice for the cost of the water, that ice be refrigerated by Solyndra solar panels, and that serving cups be returned for deposit & converted to compost!


- We demand high speed rail so we can get from
the croquet field to Crush in 13 seconds!



- We demand that all employees be unionized, 
paid $40 per hour and not be required to show up!


- We demand that Pat at the Post Office be promoted 
to head honcho shop steward at the SEIU!


- We demand the right to personally 
fertilize the Lyceum in broad daylight!


- We demand that the Honeymoon Cottages 
be converted to public housing!


- We demand free hash pipe lessons at Fired Up!


- We demand that clothing be optional at Perspicacity!


- We demand that Modica Market honor Walmart coupons!


- We demand lobster rolls from the Shrimp Shack for 
what they charge at the Thirsty Whale in Bar Harbor!



- We demand that the Charter School offer ESL 
classes in Sanskrit, Esperanto and Klingon!


- We demand that the town founder redistribute his wealth to endangered dune mice and disoriented sea turtles!


- We did not mention the above guy by name to avoid getting sued, but if we end up in court anyway we demand pro bono representation from Chief Justice John Roberts!


We are Fed Up as Hell!!!

New Urbanists of the World Unite!!!


Who's With Us?!!!


(Published in the Walton Sun November 2011)


www.stoddard.media

No comments:

Post a Comment