Wednesday, November 1, 2017

OK Georgia Bulldogs, So You're Number 1!

Too much emphasis is placed on college football. And not enough emphasis is placed on college football. It is a bunch of warriors, most of whom will never be paid to play. Yet for us, it is time on Saturday when we can tune out everything else.

2017 College Football Rankings - Week 10


This is the only hyperlink and photo we will include. One must read from this point forward.

We are lifelong Georgia fans, long suffering Georgia fans. We were in New Orleans in 1980 and expected many such celebrations to follow. You know how that turned out.

We can not channel Kirby Smart. Never met him. But we will attempt to channel him here. What he will say to his players and what he will not say. This is stream of consciousness stuff.

Okay Georgia Bulldogs, So You're Number 1!

No you're not. You are zero. We play South Carolina Saturday.

Alabama will be pissed. Okay, so they're pissed. Haven't you been pissed since kindergarten that Alabama is always ranked number 1? We play South Carolina Saturday. (Insert this last sentence at the end of each paragraph to save us all time.)

You have been great athletes since kindergarten. This is what you have devoted years of effort to get to exactly where you and we are now. This chance will not come again.

South Carolina is already talking trash. They apparently did not pay attention to what we did to Florida after they talked trash. Georgia Bulldogs do not talk trash and care nothing about trash spoken by opponents.

Paul Feinbaum yesterday said "I don't think Georgia poses any real threat to Alabama." Paul Feinbaum went to Tennessee yet is a shameless Alabama homer. But take Paul Feinbaum's comments to heart. Or don't.

Future generations of stellar 17 year old athletes have choices of great football teams for which to play. They can choose Tuscaloosa and a coach who won't let them smile or Athens and a coach who smiles with them. Until the following Monday. Which will they choose?

The above has nothing to do with preparation this week or this year. And it's not something Kirby Smart would ever say. But we stuck it in anyway.

We play South Carolina Saturday. (We interject this occasionally if you forget to remember.)

Will Muschamp. While at Florida he ignored his own seriously injured player on the field in favor of berating his defense on the sideline. LSU showed more concern for Muschamp's player than Muschamp did.

The above has nothing to do with preparation this week or this year. And it's not something Kirby Smart would ever say. But we stuck it in anyway. Again.

Being voted Number 1 the first week of College Football Playoff Rankings is a curse. Yes, so is spilling salt and walking under ladders. Worry more about spilling salt and walking under ladders than being voted Number 1 the first week of College Football Playoff Rankings.

We play South Carolina Saturday.

Everyone has a job to do. Everyone has been doing their job pretty well. But not well enough.

Georgia always chokes. Yes, so did the Boston Red Sox and Chicago Cubs. But that is in the past and those other teams are pros who play baseball. Which is not football. And they have nothing to do with Georgia. Only Georgia has to do with Georgia.

Belaboring the same point. The head of the US Patent office once said "everything that can be invented has been invented." Steve Jobs ignored him. Ignore people who are dim.

Though you are 18 to 21 years old do not shoot a BB gun in the quad, carouse past curfew or drive on a suspended license. If you do we have other talented and hungrier players who will take your place. Then you can transfer to Auburn or Louisville.

We play South Carolina Saturday.

Georgia is Number 1 so we will be a target. To offset that we will install new variations of the slant pass, the only one Jake Fromm can throw. Plus we will prove to whoever is targeting us Georgia is indeed a team they lose to.

But what about if Alabama, Notre Dame or Clemson pass us in rankings next week because we only beat South Carolina? What was that question again? What rankings? Who are Alabama, Notre Dame and Clemson?

Can I score ten 50 yard line tickets for our BFFs at Stoddard Media? That is an excellent question. We will give that top priority even before practice today.

Let's frame a super enlarged version of the next Sports Illustrated issue and plaster it to the locker room wall. Is that the swimsuit edition? Another great idea.

We play South Carolina Saturday.

Why don't you allow other coaches and freshman players to do interviews? Because they might get giddy and shoot a BB gun in the quad afterward.

In the foreseeable future Georgia will never recruit a candidate for Heisman Trophy. Georgia will recruit players who want to block and win championships. Ask Nick Chubb and Sony Michel how much they care about a Heisman Trophy.

What is for dinner after practice this afternoon? Whatever they serve for dinner after practice this afternoon.

What if I sell a jock strap on eBay? A UGA cop will turn you in and Georgia will get the death penalty. Then Reggie Bush will declare another year of college eligibility and win the Heisman Trophy. Then Pete Carroll will continue to be blame free and make millions in the NFL.

We play South Carolina Saturday.

Can we have someone design our next gnarly uniform? No. You just lost your scholarship.

What football experience does Stoddard Media have? We were a small, slow and dumb center and nose tackle on our 4-6 1974 high school team the year before our school merged with Sandy Springs. That 1975 team went 9-3 with large, fast and smart players. That makes us great. The older we get the greater we were.

Pathetic Ridgeview Record


Forgettable Ridgeview Helmets


You said there would be no more hyperlinks or photos. That was much earlier and we forgot.

What qualifies Stoddard Media to write about this? In 1978 Ernie Johnson Jr interviewed us on WUOG about the Terry College career day we were in charge of. In 1979 Buck Belue and a bunch of teammates came to a party at our apartment then left because no women had yet arrived. Both Johnson and Belue will deny this but we can produce unreliable witnesses.

Then in 1980 Georgia won a national championship. Coincidence? We think not.

We play South Carolina Saturday.

Contact:

www.stoddard.media

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